You saw what happened to Old Metal. Here are two other posers from my past, and how I got rid of them.
When I was 5, my best friend Jimmy Nimer and I played in the sandbox every day. We proclaimed the sandbox to be the coolest place to be on the playground. One day, I heard him calling from help. He was on the monkey bars and couldn’t get down. Upon the discovery that he was not 100% loyal to the sandbox, and therefore not 100% loyal to our/my definition of what’s cool. I left him there. For all I know he still hasn’t been helped down. He probably has been, but I like to imagine he hasn’t.
In high school, I dated Miranda Foxworth. She was, as her last name would suggest, worthy of being called a fox. Every day at lunch we brought in vegan Rueben sandwiches on organic rye. You haven’t lived until you’ve tasted my mother’s veggie corned beef, also known as corn beef because it’s made with corn. We would laugh at and ridicule our fellow students as they lined up like sheep to eat whatever garbage was being offered by the cafeteria. One day, Miranda said she couldn’t meet for lunch, as she had a test to study for. Imagine my surprise when I discovered her in line for a school lunch on pizza day. Pizza day. The most mainstream of all school lunch days. Not only did I end things with her immediately, I told everyone in school she had head lice. Nobody would talk to her and eventually her parents transferred her to another school and moved away.
And then there was old Metal. Luckily I don’t foresee any other instances of this happening. While I may have many, many, many issues with the staff of MyMusic, I can say with the utmost certainty that even if their taste in music ranges from puzzling to inexcusable, at least they are honest with themselves, and with the world.